Calling all women

Recently, it has come to light that there is an epidemic of unhappiness among the women in my life. Allow me to clarify. By “women in my life” I mean sisters, cousins, nieces, new friends, old friends, fellow church members, Co-workers and acquaintances. I have casual relationships with some of these women, and others are very near and dear to me. They are at all different stages of their lives. Some are older, some younger, some have young kids; some have teenagers or older children. Some work, some don’t. One common thread seems to be stitched through all of us women….discontentment.
It has been making my little wheels turn. Why is this? I don’t know. I do not have the answer.

I have said before, and will say again. I am a Christian. I live my life according to God’s word. Therefore, the first thing I do is run and pray. Pray- pray- pray. And then pray some more. Lately, all I’ve been doing is praying. Praying for you, praying for me.

So what’s going on with all these unhappy women you ask? Well, some have physical problems. A few hate their jobs. Some are unfulfilled, or unsatisfied with their current lot in life. It made me think….are women just inherently discontent? Do we always find a reason to be unhappy? No matter what? Is it just a case of “the grass is always greener”?

I don’t think so. I have decided it is a whole big bunch of things all wrapped up into one working against us women. It’s guilt. It’s low self esteem. It’s being unsure of ourselves. It’s selflessness. It’s that built in need to take care of everyone else. It’s society. It’s thinking we should have our cake and eat it too.
When I’m at work I don’t want to be. I can’t wait to leave, and be at home with my family. But after an extended period spending time with only my kids I crave adult time.
And… (yes, I know I’m jaded when I say this) but I also think it has a lot to do with those men in our lives. Now calm down, I’m not blaming them for our problems. I’m just saying that the simple truth is that women usually bear most of the “burden” in their relationship. Most every woman I know is the primary care giver, chief cook & bottle washer, financial guru, activities director, and taxi for her family. Not to mention that she also puts in a 40 hr. work week for someone else and only gets paid a portion of what her husband makes. Probably because he has that magic penis of his. :)

I guess what I’m saying is that I do not have answers. I wish I did. What I DO have is love, and prayers. If you reading this are a “woman in my life” then know this. I love you, and pray for you on a regular basis. Really.
Also, know this. I think we should ban together to support each other instead of pick at each other. Let’s get together for lunch or dinner and have “group therapy”. Seriously.
Women are strange breed, and we can understand each other better than anyone else. Men certainly don’t understand us. They’re too busy playing with magic.

Love, prayers, and big fat bear hugs to all my peeps! :)

~Char

Ode to McDonald's Diet Coke

Ode to McDonald’s Diet Coke

Oh McDonald’s Diet Coke how I love you!
You’re simple sweetness refreshes my soul
Dark and mysterious
Cool and crisp
Like liquid nector from the gods
You strengthen me, refresh me, sustain me
Oh McDonald’s Diet Coke, How I love you!!!

I’m feeling a bit silly this morning. Maybe it’s delirium. I’m soooo incredibly tired. I have no idea how I dragged myself out of bed this morning and came to work.

Uggghhh……so sleepy….eyes drooping….must…stay…awake…must…work….need caffeine…..go to McDonald’s…
...big ol’ Diet Coke…..AHHHH….ok…bring it on!!!

Like I said, I’m feeling silly today.

:)

~Char

5 Little words

Words are amazing. They can hurt, they can heal, they can change everything.

One year ago on June 6th, a good friend of mine lost her sweet 6 year old son to complications from leukemia. I will never ever forget that day. I vividly remember every excruciating detail of that day from the minute I got the phone call until I fell into fitful sleep that night.

Can you imagine? You may think you can, but believe me you can't even begin to.

I met my friend at work, and even though we have very different personalities we clicked. Then her son got sick, and a few months later my daughter was diagnosed. Our bond grew. Even after she and I found different jobs we stayed in touch, although her son had rough moments, I never believed he wouldn't beat it. Apparently, she had been leaving important information about his health out of our conversations. I didn't physically see him much as we mostly met kid free for some relaxing time together. So I never realized just how sick he was. Then what, to me, was out of the blue he died.
I got the call at work. Let me refer to my former statement....you. can. NOT. IMAGINE.

I was totally unprepared, and had NO idea how to support my friend during a time like this. Especially since my daughter had just been given a wonderful report at a specialist we had just seen. Somehow I fumbled through, and marveled at how gracefully my friend showed strength.

Fast forward one year to this past week. The fast approaching "anniversary" was alllll I could think about. What do I say? How do I handle this? Do I acknowledge it, or let it pass? Somebody please tell me!!!
Finally I decided to send a brief e-mail acknowledging it, sending prayers, and love, and wishes of wonderful memories.
I held my breath. I really didn't think I would hear a word.
But when I checked my email today, I saw her reply......I opened it hesitantly.
Then I read the sweetest words.......
Thank you. I appreciate that.
5 little words that have me smiling from ear to ear, and feeling like I did the right thing.

5 little words.

Words are amazing.

~Charmaine

The magic *****

I consider myself a fairly intelligent person. More than this I am a Christian. I pray for patience, and humility, and the chance to show others God’s love.
I am a wife, and mother. I cook, I clean, I do laundry. I pack lunches, chaperone field trips, and kiss scraped knees. I work 10 hours a day, and then come home to help with homework, and do even more laundry. As a mother, being selfless, and putting the needs of others first comes naturally for me.
So why do I get sooooo worked up by other peoples inability to do the same?

Let me first start off by saying that, as I write this, I am fully aware that I am completely in the thick of PMS. Therefore, I realize that hormones are probably coloring my feelings and thoughts right now. But what’s a blog for if it isn’t to allow its author to honestly express her thoughts right?

Having said that let me just spill out some misc rick rack that is bumping around in my head……

You know what bugs me? Men, or women, but especially men that think they are more important than they are. Why do some people walk around feeling they are above the “law”? Any by law, I don’t mean the go to jail if you break it law; I mean the laws of decency. Laws such as being respectful to each other, having compassion, and just plain willingness to walk across the room and turn the light on yourself! I mean really, is it THAT hard? Or, do you get THAT much gratification watching me do it? Seriously.

I realize that I am jaded. After 14 ½ years of marriage I have dealt with more than my fair share of heartache, and crisis. I have long ago given up the dream of a “fairytale” romance, and replaced it with the realistic love that I share with my husband. He is a good man. He works hard for our family, and I have never doubted his love for me or our children. I have never doubted his faithfulness to me. I know that this alone is a rare gift.
Long ago I gave up the need or expectancy of flowers, and cards. Instead I enjoy knowing that he loves me only; I relish the fact that he still bugs me for sex even though I am physically nothing like I was when he married me. (lets just say 3 kids and lots of stress eating have not been kind)

Regardless of this knowledge it still bugs me that even though I work outside the home just like my husband, it is still totally my responsibility to cook, clean, and do that ever mounting pile of laundry. Why is that?
There was a time in history when it was common that all men worked outside the home, and women stayed home to do all the things I have just listed plus many more. But that is NOT today. Today, 2008, it is rare that any woman would call herself a “homemaker”. Some women simply have no desire to. Others, such as me, would jump at that chance, but have no choice in the matter. Their income is needed to support the family just as much as their husbands.
So, us “modern mothers” get up shower before dawn, pack lunches, lay out dinner, and go to work. We come home to tackle the house and whatever needs done, and then fall into bed late at night. This is where I start to get irritated. Why is it that all these household chores still fall on us? Why do men work the same amount of hours at us, but when they come home, they get to relaaaaax? Ok, so maybe they take out the garbage or cut the grass. Does that really compare? Not in my book. I mean seriously. I may have when to a small Christian school, and not excelled in math, but I can add. I don’t see how walking a bag or can to the curb, or sitting on a lawn mower for an hour or so compares to allllll the millions of things we do! NO WAY!

So I had to rationalize this. Why. Is. this? Why IS this? As Winnie the Pooh says….think think think…..Then one day it dawned on me. Men have magic. Magic that women do not have. More specifically they have a magic apparatus. What is it you ask? Well, let me enlighten you………

Are you ready for this?

Men possess a magic penis. [insert ominous sound effects]

Think about it ladies. It’s the one thing they possess that we don’t, and can’t.
And it’s magic.
I have studied up on this subject, and decided it’s different for each man. For some men it removes guilt. For others it removes the ability to see laundry, or know the location of the sink. For some it impairs their ability to hear a child crying, or smell things. Universally, it impairs their sense of direction, and common sense.
Curiously, the magic penis increases men’s perception of size, and importance.
Of course, there are other qualities the magic penis possesses, but we won’t discus those here.

So ladies, I hope I have opened your eyes. The next time you feel overwhelmed or frustrated with your husband remember……… He has magic.

Accept it and move on. After all, how are you going to compete with magic?????
:)