The White Death

They don’t call it the white death for no reason.
I’m talking about snow. It’s so pretty ,and peaceful looking. But that’s all a disguise. It turns people into raving lunatics! And Ohio apparently, has no idea how to handle it.
It started last week. We got close to a foot, and school was closed all week. Ok, fine. Dandy. We all got a good case of cabin fever, but over the weekend things warmed up to close to 40 and it wasn’t so hard to get around. Roads were clear.
Then it started again yesterday…….

I left work around 4:30.
It’s not too bad. I mean it’s not good, but people are moving.
Wait a minute. What’s the deal? Ok, we’re stopping….ok we’re creeping.
45 minutes later I was only a few feet ahead. I’m really aggravated!!!! Why is it just the direction I am going? The other way seems fine.
I turn around and go back towards work.
Ok, this is good. We’re crawling along….good….good…
I’m half way home now!
What’s that!??? A train!!!???? Are you kidding me? Don’t you know it’s snowing? Go back to the station!!! Wait. Wait. Ok, it’s gone, now I’m moving again. Good. Good.
I see the intersection up ahead. It’s congested. Is it moving?
I can’t see for all this white fluff swirling around
It’s slow because nobody knows how to MERGE! Come on people!
Allrighty, I’ll go straight. Straight is good. There goes the bridge, but I’ll just go up here and cross the bridge downtown to get home. I’m trucking along.
Turn the curve
Ah! STOP! Where did all these people come from?
I’m at a complete stop.
I have now been in the car for an hour. I have only moved a few feet.
As an added bonus my feet and bottom of my pants are soaking wet. I didn’t know it was supposed to snow today so I wore my brown slip on shoes—FYI...not good for scraping snow from around your car
We are bumper to bumper. Side by side. There is a scrappy little piss ant of a boy in a old beat up Tracker next to me that keeps coming close to hitting me.
Don't mess with me boy! I WILL beat you down!
I am fuming!!!!!
A snow plow comes down an alley. Hmmmm
Me & a truck whip over to that alley…..turn onto the street…stop! Ok, I’m a bit further ahead though!
Wait
Wait
Wait
One at a time
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
Is that my sister I see up ahead?! That's her I know it is!
My suffering is eased just a bit to know I'm not alone in this madness!
BUT - she's AHEAD of me --grrrrr
I’m finally up to the intersection waiting to turn onto the main road, and the bridge.
I have now crossed over from mad & irritated to slap happy
I look over and see a church sign that says…. “ snowflakes are kisses from heaven”
No they aren’t! what moron decided to put that sign up? I’m sure it was a man!
I’m on the bridge now!!!!!
My friend calls me to check progress….. “hello, thank you for calling crazy town. How may I direct your call?”
I AM ACROSS THE BRIDGE! FINALLY!
“Over the river and across the bridge, almost to home I go!”
I pull onto my road…oh I’m in the home stretch!
My house! I can see my house!
I walk in the door, and the kids run to give me hugs
“I’m home my children! I have traveled from afar, and now I am home.”
What’s that smell? Supper! Scott has cooked!!!! God bless his pea pickin’ heart!
Ahhhhh… I’m home.
I have fought the white death, and won.
:)

~Char